


Liquid Courage

by alwaysanoriginal



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Gen, I may tag them in the future idk, I'm not tagging pairings for now because spoilers, Lincoln thinks they've earned the right to act like teens, M/M, Sort of anyway, and I must say I agree with him, basically EVERYONE GETS DRUNK AND MAKES OUT, partayyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysanoriginal/pseuds/alwaysanoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this happy alternate reality, everyone has been rescued from Mount Weather. But the 45 (? approximately) didn't have a big celebration because everyone had to heal and get back on their feet. After about a week of everyone recovering from injuries and figuring stuff out, Monty basically decides "hey, we all survived and I think we should celebrate that!" Thus, obviously it's time for bonfires and drunk shenanigans, courtesy of a new concoction Monty comes up with.</p>
<p>Hint: "shenanigans" is code for "kissing"</p>
<p>Since no pairings are tagged, you'll have to read it to find out who kisses whom and what ships are featured~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liquid Courage

**Author's Note:**

> 3 things:
> 
> \- For the purposes of this crack fic, Finn isn't present (because he's dead, and I thought about trying to write him in but knew it'd feel too weird), but this is in some magical universe where no one is upset and everyone is able to loosen up and have fun with no guilt or grief. Work with me here.  
> \- Murphy doesn't make an appearance until the end notes, sorry. I didn't come up with a way to write him in that seemed to work well enough.  
> \- This wasn't about figuring out a "voice" for Lincoln, even though I dove into his thoughts a bit. I needed a sober narrator, so it's partially his thoughts and partially him working as our eyes and ears. I'm not really sure how much of what he ~thinks~ here would 100% fit him, as far as his Grounder vocabulary goes, but again: Work with me here.
> 
> Thank you to Jenn and Lianne for some of the ideas, and Meg for being my Monty cheerleader.

            “Absolutely not.”

            “Abby, I’m telling you this so you will not worry, not because I believe you can or should stop them.”

            “I’m worried anyway, Lincoln. This is… This is extremely reckless. They could poison themselves, or accidentally do something dangerous. I know Monty’s a good kid, and a smart one, but we don’t know what effects this new concoction could have. I can’t allow it.”

            Lincoln chose his next words carefully.

            “With respect, Chancellor… These young people are no longer ‘children’ in many ways. They have fought more battles and seen more hardships than you and your people will ever understand. They need to celebrate this victory, and you and I both know that they will find a way to do it whether or not you try to stop them.”

            Abby pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes and visibly reining her frustration in. After a few seconds, she dropped her hand, sighed, and looked at Lincoln in exasperation. “So what do you suggest I do? Just let them get drunk on some chemical disaster, and try to convince myself nothing could possibly go wrong?”

            “Yes. And rest easy knowing I’ll keep watch over them.”

            Abby stared Lincoln down, and Lincoln admired her fierce protectiveness even as he tried hard not to be amused.

            “Fine,” she eventually said. “But whatever happens is on your conscience.”

            Privately, Lincoln didn’t think that would be a problem, but he nodded. “Thank you, Chancellor.” _On their behalf_ , he added silently.

 

 

            “Friends! Comrades! Brothers and sisters in arms!” Monty said dramatically as he emerged from the Ark station. Some of the people milling around in the late-evening twilight gave him their attention. “I, one of your esteemed resident geniuses, have come through once again!” He stood with his right hand behind his back, hidden from everyone’s line of sight.

            “Alright, he’s here! Everyone listen up!” Bellamy called out, and the rest of the group stopped talking amongst each other and shuffled closer to listen.

            “Come on, Monty, out with it. What’s the surprise? You’ve been keeping it quiet for three days,” Octavia said.

            He grinned and then shrugged. “Oh, fine, I’m too excited to be more dramatic anyway. Tadaaaa!” He pulled his hand out from behind his back, brandishing a makeshift canteen proudly.

            The crowd stared with confused and unimpressed faces, and no one said anything.

            Raven asked dryly, “Care to elaborate?”

           “As a matter of fact, yes," Monty said, raising his eyebrows and holding up an index finger. “See, I got to thinking… We had a pretty big victory about a week ago now, right?” One finger became two. “We all had to recover from injuries and trauma, and things had to settle down. _But_.” Two fingers became three. “Now that we’ve all recovered, and we have some time on our hands… We need to _celebrate_!” Turning around, he flung his empty hand towards the entrance of the Ark. “Jasper, if you please…?”

            Jasper emerged carrying a crate filled with various canteens, bottles, canisters… anything that could hold liquid. The crowd shifted closer to get a better look as he placed it at his feet.

            “Moonshine?” Octavia asked, the first notes of excitement starting to creep into her voice.

            “Even _better_ ,” Monty said, clearly relishing everyone’s interest. No one looked bored now. “I developed a brand new formula– still working on a name for it though, but it’s for celebrations only– that will get us drunker and consequently happier even faster. And this way, no one can complain and try to say we used the moonshine supply for inappropriate, non-medical reasons.”

            The group was starting to get excited, pushing forward to try to get to the crate.

            “Wait!” Clarke said, putting her arm out and halting everyone in their restless tracks. “Are you sure my mom is okay with this?”

            “Or do we have to sneak out to party?” Bellamy added, and Clarke gave him a look but didn’t contradict him, confirming Lincoln’s suspicions that the party would have happened whether or not Abby had reluctantly approved.

            “Wellllll…” Monty said, drawing out the word, and Jasper shifted uncomfortably.

            Lincoln stepped forward from where he’d been keeping to the side of the crowd. “I spoke to the chancellor. She agreed to let you have the party when I told her you'd stay in the camp and I would keep watch.”

            Everyone looked at him in surprise and varying degrees of growing excitement, and Octavia took his hand and squeezed it in gratitude.

Monty was the first to recover. “That was… surprisingly easy,” he said slowly. “But how’d you even know about the plan?”

            “I heard you and Jasper talking about it yesterday. I decided to take matters into my own hands.”

            “Damn,” Jasper said, mildly impressed. “We thought we were being subtle. Can’t say I’m sorry you heard, though.”

            Everyone stood around for a moment, unsure of how to react, and then Bellamy broke the silence. “Then what are we waiting for?” he said loudly. “Let’s get this party started!”

            Everybody cheered, and the distribution began.

 

           

            Monty didn’t just have one crate of his “currently unnamed nectar.”

            He had _four_.

            Each of the crates was filled with a variety of containers that held the drink, as well as some empty cups and saucers strewn about. Lincoln recognized many of them as ones he’d seen elsewhere around Camp Jaha.

            Jasper, Monty, Bellamy, and Lincoln carried all of the crates away from the entrance to the Ark, hauling them to a farther area of the camp that was mostly empty. The crates were placed up against an outer wall of the Ark to keep them away from soon-to-be-drunken footfalls, and everyone pushed forward to grab the contents and pass everything around. At Octavia’s suggestion, Bellamy instructed a few people to carefully build small fires, “for old time’s sake” as she’d put it with a nudge and a grin. Lincoln could only assume she was thinking of the moonshine parties the group used to have in their first camp a few short weeks ago.

            “Do I even want to know how you got ahold of so many of these?” Clarke asked, hefting a particularly large jug and putting it to the side.

            “Uhhh, probably not,” Jasper said, and Monty winked at her.

            Miller grabbed one of the canisters and turned it over in his hands. “I’m pretty sure this one was in–”

            Monty shushed him before he could finish, and ushered him to the side. “And that’ll be all we need from you today, Nathan, thank you for your help!” he said quickly, and Miller laughed, wandering off to go help Harper build a fire and taking the mysterious canister with him.

            Bellamy reached forward and tugged on Clarke’s hair, which was in a ponytail. When she looked up at him, he smiled and ducked his head down towards her. “Lighten up,” he said in a low voice. “You deserve this.”

            Clarke rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she pushed a bunch of cups into his chest, and he had to scramble not to drop them.

            Meanwhile, Raven was holding up a translucent bottle, peering at it to try to see the liquid inside. “So is there a plan here other than ‘get drunk off our asses’? Not that I’m complaining about that idea. I just want to be clear.”

            Before Monty could respond, Octavia said innocently, “Pretty sure the answer is ‘whatever the hell we want,’” and Bellamy groaned loudly as quite a few people started laughing. He reached over to try to shove Octavia’s shoulder, but she had already scooped up a bottle and dodged away neatly to stand behind Lincoln, grinning mischievously.

            Lincoln pointedly handed her another bottle in silent congratulations on her wit. Octavia stood on her toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek in thanks before going to join Miller and Harper by the nearest fire.

            Eventually, once most of the “unnamed nectar” and cups empty seemed to be adequately spread throughout the group, everyone gravitated towards their respective friends and settled around the bonfires. Clarke, Bellamy, and their seconds– which is how Lincoln privately thought of them– settled around the fire that Miller and Harper had built a few feet away. Monty sat close to the side of the Ark so he was near the last remaining drinks in the crates, and Lincoln was absurdly reminded of his father’s stories of ancient dragons that guarded their hoards. Jasper plopped down directly on Monty’s right, and to Monty’s left a few feet away sat Bellamy, Clarke, and Raven.

            Lincoln was not surprised that they’d all sat on the side of the fire facing the rest of their people. Even when planning to get drunk and have fun, with no immediate concerns visible, the leaders were still unconsciously keeping watch over everyone else.

            Lincoln himself settled a small distance from Raven, intending to stay slightly apart and mostly silent. He knew he was accepted amongst this group, but he also knew he would never fully be one of them. In a few minutes he was going to be the only one sober anyway, so he was content to simply observe and not interfere.

            He looked across the fire at Octavia, who was standing with Monroe and laughing at something she'd just said. Almost as if she felt Lincoln looking, Octavia glanced at him, and immediately came over to sit beside him.

            Lincoln looked between her and where the group of Monroe, Miller, Harper, and a few other people whose names he didn't know were settling across the fire. He also glanced at Bellamy and those seated near him. "You don't need to sit by me. You can go join your friends or your brother."

            She didn't meet his eyes, watching instead as Bellamy poured Clarke a drink into a cup she was holding. "You're not getting rid of me that easily," she said lightly.

            Lincoln could tell she was holding something back. "Octavia…" he said, and waited calmly.

            She looked up at him, and he looked back patiently, holding her gaze. Finally, she said quietly, "I still feel like I just got you back. And we haven't had any time together recently, so I'd rather sit here with you."

            Lincoln smiled and cupped her cheek, and his chest felt tight from how much he loved this woman sitting next to him. He kissed her, slowly and tenderly, then pulled back to see her smile. "I'm always honored to have you by my side."

            Her smile turned into a grin. "Even though I'm about to be drunk in five minutes?"

            He laughed. "Especially then. Go ahead."

            Octavia opened her bottle, and just as she was peering into it, Raven and Clarke started coughing. Lincoln saw some of the others in the group having similar reactions as they took their first sips.

            "Monty, what is _in_ this stuff?" Clarke choked out.

            "Probably better not to ask," Raven said hoarsely, pounding her chest.

            "Oh come on, it can't be that bad," Bellamy said, then look a drink from his bottle. His eyes widened, and he wheezed, " _Whoa_ , I take it back.”

            "It'll put some hair on your chest!" Monty said with a huge grin and a fist-pump. Then he blinked and frowned. "Which, now that I consider it, is probably not a great idea for the women." Shrugging, he took another swig of his own drink, which was in a large jug.

            "How come you didn't choke on it at first?" Octavia called out to him. "You poisoning us, Monty?"

            "You get used to it," Jasper said, pointedly taking a big drink from his own bottle.

            "How are you two used to it already?" Raven asked.

            Monty wiggled his eyebrows. "Well, we had to taste it beforehand, right?"

            Octavia laughed, and took her first sip. She grimaced, and then made a thoughtful expression. "You know what, I've tasted worse." She took a bigger sip. "And– wow, I can feel myself getting tipsy already." Narrowing her eyes, she looked at it contemplatively, then shrugged and drank some more.

            "It's super effective!" Jasper said loudly, and he and Monty leaned shoulder-to-shoulder and collapsed into giggles. Raven rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded like "nerds."

            Lincoln directed his attention to the rest of the group, watching as everyone worked their way towards getting drunk pretty quickly. He found himself smiling at the sounds of conversation and laughter. It was good to see them all finally having a chance to relax.

            A few minutes later, his attention was directed nearby again as Bellamy burped, looking just as comically startled about it as everyone near him did. Clarke and Raven burst out laughing, as if they couldn't help it, and Bellamy grinned in response and looked happier than Lincoln had ever seen him.

            Octavia snorted. "When we were little, Bell had a burping contest with me once before Mom made us stop. I won. I am the burping _champion_." Lincoln stared at her as she swayed and patted his knee, almost missing. "I'm... I'll show you someday," she said, managing to not slur her last words with an effort.

            Lincoln had to laugh, at that point. "I look forward to it."

            Octavia nodded. "M'sure."

            Across the fire, Monty was clearly trying to tell Jasper something very important, patting his shoulder repeatedly. "Jasper. Jasssssperrrrr. I like your name. I like _you_." He leaned forward and stared at him intently, then said loudly, "You're great. GREAT!"

            Jasper laughed, patting Monty in return. "You– You're great too, Monty."

            Monty swayed closer to him. "I'm gonna- I'm gonna kiss you now. Say okay."

            Jasper blinked at him, startled. "Wha–?"

            "Okay," Monty said, apparently taking his own advice, then grabbed Jasper's shirt and tugged him into a sloppy kiss.

            Jasper seemed frozen in shock, and Monty pulled away a couple of seconds later, unconcerned and clearly happy. "You're GREAT. Everyone else is great too! I love _everyone_!" he shouted, throwing his arms out wide. He was so enthusiastic that a few people nearby started laughing and clapping.

            "Love you back, Monty!" Raven shouted shamelessly.

            "And YOU," Monty continued, now pointing at Bellamy and scooting over to him on his knees. " _You_... You saved m'life a week ago! I could kiss you for that!"

            "You could if you wanted to," Bellamy said, amused and clearly tipsy.

            "Don't need to tell me twice," Monty said, without missing a beat, and lunged forward to grab Bellamy's jacket and kiss him.

            Bellamy fell forward into the kiss with startled, wide eyes, and then he closed his eyes too and kissed back determinately, to many hoots and hollers from the group at large. Octavia shouted "That's HOT, big brother!" and Lincoln resisted the urge to laugh at how ridiculous the whole scene was.

            Jasper stared and stared and stared at Monty, his mouth hanging open.

            Finally, Monty and Bellamy pulled away from each other. Monty flopped back onto his butt, looking dazed as Bellamy wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and gave Monty a mischievous grin. Clarke had her hand over her mouth and was clearly trying not to laugh (and failing), her eyes sparkling with mirth as Octavia clapped sarcastically and Raven said, "I wish I could've filmed that."

            Monty blinked for a second, still looking dazed, then grinned and took a huge swig of his drink. After grimacing and choking down the liquid, he raised it and yelled, "I am gay as FUCK!" to much applause and laughter.

            "Well that's certainly one way to announce your sexuality," Clarke said, sounding amused and the most sober out of all of them.

            "You are definitely not drunk enough yet if you're still using big words," Bellamy said, handing her his bottle. "Drink up, Princess."

            She took it, raising her eyebrows at him as she did so. They stared at each other--- her with her eyebrows raised and trying not to smile, him smirking--- and she looked like she was about to say something but thought better of it. Judging by Bellamy's expression, he'd probably understood anyway.

            "Sexuality isn't a big word" was all she said out loud, and then she took a swig before handing it back to him.

            "Let me get in on this shit," Raven said, raising her drink in Monty's direction in a toast before tossing it back in two large gulps. For a moment, Lincoln thought she was about to get up and kiss Monty because of that. Instead, she turned to Clarke, who was looking at her curiously as Bellamy took another sip from his bottle.

            "What do you say, Clarke? Can I kiss you?" Raven asked, and Bellamy choked on his drink and started coughing.

            Clarke stared at her for a second, and then laughed and nodded. "Go for it. Impress me, Raven."

            "Don't need to tell me twice," Raven said, repeating what Monty had said earlier, then pulled Clarke's face to hers and kissed her solidly on her smiling mouth. Clarke put her hands behind Raven's head to tug her closer and fiercely kissed her back. As they deepened the kiss, someone shouted "Holy shit!" in surprise, and there were a few laughs.

            Octavia made an amused sound. "I think my brother's in shock."

            Lincoln looked at Bellamy and chuckled. "He does look like someone hit him over the head."

            A few seconds later, Clarke and Raven separated, and Clarke immediately started laughing again. "I'm definitely impressed," she said, sitting back on her hands.

            Raven smacked a kiss onto Clarke's cheek. "Damn right." Raising her now-empty bottle, she swayed and slurred proudly, "M'bisexual, bitches!"

            More hoots and cheers followed her proclamation, Octavia amongst them, and all around the group more people took big swigs of their drinks or started kissing one another. Lincoln spared a thought for the adults elsewhere in the camp, amused at the idea of what their horrified reactions would probably be. For his part, he didn't care; these young people had been through hell, and as far as he was concerned they deserved the right to enjoy themselves however they saw fit.

            Almost as if summoned by his thoughts, someone emerged from the Ark and started walking towards them. Lincoln tensed, but relaxed once he saw that it was Wick.

            "You're having a party without me?" he asked when he reached Raven, standing over her with his hands on his hips. "I heard there was booze, and yet I wasn't invited? I'm supposed to be invited whenever there's booze. You know that's the rule, mechanic."

            She looked up at him smugly, her ponytail swinging as she tilted her head. "Tough shit, engineer."

            Monty waved at Wick and pointed at the one crate with a few things left in it. "There's more o'er there!" he said, and Raven groaned. Clarke patted her on the knee in fake consolation as Monty stumbled to his feet and almost fell over, but he righted himself and managed to walk the few paces needed to grab a metal canister from the crate.

            "Hell yeah," Wick said, quickly moving forward to take it from the swaying Monty, who looked like he was about to try to toss it across the space. He walked back over to Raven and sat down neatly next to her, and she scowled at him in a way that was clearly just for show. Wick unscrewed the top on the canister and naively took a big first sip without hesitation. He immediately started coughing, and Raven laughed at him.

            “Those two secretly love each other in some weird way,” Octavia said in a low voice, and Lincoln thought she probably had a point.

            Just as Monty was about to sit down again, Jasper scrambled to his feet to stand next to him and said, "Wait, Monty. Hey, wait."

            Monty blinked at him. "Want some more?"

            Maybe it was a trick of the light, but it looked like Jasper flushed. "No, I–" He reached over, took the jug Monty was holding and put it to the side. "I want– I know what to call the drink."

            Monty grinned. "Yeah? What?"

            Jasper straightened his shoulders, looking determined. "Liquid fucking courage," he said. Then he stepped forward, put his palms on Monty's cheeks, and bent down to kiss him.

            Monty froze for barely a moment before his hands were in Jasper's hair, kissing him back extremely enthusiastically for someone who'd seemed very drunk moments before. Jasper kissed him just as deeply, and it turned very passionate _very_ quickly.

            "It's about damn time!" a girl shouted somewhere, and the resulting reaction as everyone else noticed the kiss was the loudest yet.

            Jasper and Monty didn't even come up for air, ignoring the hollering and cheering of those around them. Jasper walked Monty backwards a few steps until Monty's back hit the side of the Ark, and then he pinned Monty's hands above his head so they were lined up head-to-toe. Monty practically melted.

            "Oh my God," another girl said, and Wick whistled appreciatively.

            One of the other guys Lincoln didn’t know asked, "Wait, is Jasper bi too?" and Miller said, "I'm pretty sure he's straight with a side of Monty-sexual."

            "Damn," the guy said, and someone else told him to hold out for a threesome. Octavia laughed at that.

            Smiling too, Lincoln looked over at her. She was now listing to the side a bit, well on her way to spectacularly drunk, but she had a peaceful kind of happiness about her that he hadn't seen since their night together in his cave. For a moment, he felt intensely proud of her— of all of them, but especially her— for how much they'd survived, and how much they'd grown. His Octavia had come a long way from the wild child who had first set foot on Earth. That child would have been doing something completely different right now, acting out to try to settle something within. The mature warrior woman next to him was comfortable and grounded in her own skin, perfectly fine with soaking in the happiness around her and not being the life of the party tonight.

            He loved her so fiercely it hurt, sometimes.

            Following Octavia's gaze, Lincoln saw that she was watching her brother. Bellamy himself was watching Clarke, who was playing a game with Raven that involved a saucer and small metal discs. Clarke seemed happy and light for once, and Bellamy had a soft look on his face as he gazed at her, smiling slightly in a way that meant he thought no one was watching. The look was one Lincoln had seen before, both on Bellamy's face--- always directed at Clarke, always when she wasn't watching--- as well as on the faces of others. It was the same way his father had looked at his mother when Lincoln was very small, and it was the same way Lincoln knew he looked at Octavia. He knew what it meant.

            "He won't do it, y'know," Octavia said softly, breaking into Lincoln's thoughts. He made a questioning noise. "He's not gonna kiss Clarke," she clarified, her words slurring slightly again as she nodded in Bellamy's direction. "He's gonna wait until he can do it _right_."

            Lincoln didn't say anything, but he knew Octavia was correct about this too. Even when not entirely lucid, she was observant, and she knew her brother well. Jasper and Monty were still making out, and even though they were drunk, that spontaneity was something that would work for them. Bellamy and Clarke's relationship was one where neither would act on it until they both knew it was the right time, especially because they were so in tune and relied on each other so heavily.

            Her wisdom officially shared for the evening, Octavia yawned and scooted down so her head was pillowed on Lincoln's thigh. Warrior woman though she made be, Lincoln watched her curl up and was reminded of how young they all were. He put his hand on her head and stroked her hair, and she sighed happily.

            "Love you," she said, so quietly he almost missed it, and Lincoln's breath caught. He'd never tire of hearing that.

            "I love you too, Octavia," he said softly, continuing to stroke her hair, and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.

            Lincoln watched as the others continued to enjoy themselves, Octavia trusting and asleep on his lap, and he basked in the feeling of having no stress and no fear. Jasper and Monty had stopped making out and were now sitting up against the Ark, leaning against each other with their fingers entwined as they dozed. Raven and Wick were now the ones playing the game with the saucer and discs, bickering all the while. Bellamy and Clarke were lying down side-by-side, stargazing and talking quietly.

            Eventually, the party began to calm down and everyone seemed to get tired almost at once, either falling asleep using each other as pillows or getting up to stumble to their beds elsewhere. Lincoln was left with half of the group asleep on the ground, including Jasper, Monty, Bellamy, and Clarke. This meant he had quite a few hours ahead of him to continue to "keep watch" and fulfill his promise to Abby, but he didn't mind. He'd spent longer sleepless nights in worse conditions than this. The fires were down to a few embers, but there was enough light to see by because of the main camp lights in the distance. And it was also a warm summer's night, so he wasn't concerned about anyone being cold.

            Carefully, Lincoln picked up Octavia, who barely stirred. He silently walked over to the side of the Ark, maneuvering them so he was sitting up against it and she was lying on his lap again. Satisfied with the more comfortable position, he took out his book and settled in to draw until sunrise. As he sketched the sleeping forms before him, and some of his favorite moments of the evening from memory, Lincoln realized something: these people weren't just Octavia's. In a unique way, they were becoming his, too. They could never replace the life he'd always known and recently left behind, but maybe they didn't have to.

            Let them rest where they wanted. They deserved this.

            The night was peaceful, and, for once, so were they.

 

[And from that day forth the drink was referred to as LFC, standing for "liquid fucking courage"]

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean to slip into introspective Lincoln feels but it just sort of happened??? Oops  
> If anyone knows how to say "I love you" in Trigedasleng let me know because I wanted Lincoln to say it in his language but I couldn't find it.
> 
> Anyway, FYI they all woke up with massive hangovers the next day and someone tried to organize a mob to kill Monty because of it  
> (kidding)  
> ((partially))
> 
> Pretty sure at some point, somewhere, Murphy was dryly asking "Is this going to turn into a giant orgy?"  
> No, Murphy, not an orgy; a sleepover. Get it together.  
> My explanation: whatever was in the drink made them drunker faster and more tired faster, I guess? It's a crack fic, leave me and my faulty logic alone.
> 
> Also this was alternatively titled "GAY AS FUCK (Thanks Monty)"
> 
> IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE xx


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